Climate Wars

Why is it that every time you walk into a house, you never feel comfortable? This is the exact feeling I got today as I strutted into my house after walking home. Of course it was in the low 70's and I was dressed for the morning temperatures of Marietta, GA in November. Every morning as I sit on my bed, I would have to make an important decision- what part of the day shall I dress for? Should it be the frigid morning temperatures of the arctic? Or what about at Simpson? How could I decide that? The commons were perfect, but math class was the tundra, language arts was the sauna, science, the steam room, and social studies varied daily. Tough decisions! Then I could dress for afternoon- mid 70's. Then I would decide on jeans, boots, and a three- quarter sleeve top. Of course, perfect with a jacket for morning, stuff the jacket in my bag in the afternoon for a stuffy walk home. Then I consider Simpson and I just get frustrated.

Finally, I walk out of the steam room and then to the fresh air for a walk home. The walk becomes hotter as I go around in my Old Navy boots and thick jeans. Sweat dribbles down my forehead and I finally walk into my lovely home. I expect something such as a nice cool breeze of cold air to brush upon my humid body as I rush into the house. Normally a frigid blast comes and engulfs me. But no- today, today is the one day it doesn't. I walk inside and burn up! My veins are boiling, my skin is scorched, and the heat makes it seem as if I am highly flammable. I rush to the a.c. pad where you choose the temperature and then change the heat to a.c. and then turn it to 69, my ideal temperature. Then when I walk upstairs to change out of my winter wear, I do the same to the now a.c. Finally the house is right and I begin to escape from my cage of heat. All is well until..... OH NO! My family comes home and are experienced the same heat dilemma, though they are all so cold and all. HOW? I dunno! But they are, nevertheless. I reluctantly switch it back to the heat, stripping off more layers. I concur that I should change into a bathing suit to soak up the scalding sun and maybe get a tan, but of course that would be a bit too dramatic. I unfortunately must boil in the climate of my home. I try once more to change it to my comfort zone, but I lose, 3 to 1. It is so terrible, I clunk off to go outside with my dogs. I come in and experience my bones drying out, my skin burning, and again, that flammable feeling. Maybe a cold shower will do, or taking my cats outside. Or my scooter. Or my pogostick. Or my imaginary pets. Or the dogs again. I'm desperate! At least the temperatures will cool down tonight. I conclude on the climate conflict by simply stating: No matter what I wear, the weather forces diagree and then I shall suffer another sauna or polar ice cap. Then as I lay down to sleep, the climate I shall never keep.