The night, a silent swan,
Dark as liquid fear,
Calls, breathes, echoes:
A sea of quiet slumber,
Blackness swells the eyes;
Dreaming doth surmise;
Light cannot escape - it's a vacant maze;
Waiting until the morn, saunters time into sleep.
This was written at the camp, again. It had a format as follows:
Line 1: alliteration
Line 2: simile
Line 3: personification
Line 4: metaphor
Line 5: imagery
Line 6: rhymes with line 5
Line 7: assonance
Line 8: consonance
So, yes. It may not be my normal style, yet I decided to post it because I was curious of opinions. It is rather deep and hard to follow, but I had fun writing it, so that is great! =)
4 comments:
Hi Rose,
Thanks for posting things from camp. I love your blog!
Thanks Chelsea! Congrats on your wedding! And the class is great! Thanks for teaching it. I'm really enjoying it! =)
It is ALWAYS a good thing when you step out of a normal style. It helps you stretch your imagination. In return, your readers are treated by getting to know a little more about your depth as a writer. I really enjoyed how you wrote lines 2 and 3. In line 2, I perceive "liquid" as something that moves, that has action. Line 3 brings that point to the reader again, as all three words are action words (calls, breathes, echoes). This was very clever. Keep writing, and always stay positive!!
Thanks for the thoughtful feedback! I really appreciate it. Do I know you from somewhere? Is this Mr. A?
Post a Comment